Tawbah -Jumuah Bayan
Part of Tawbah [repentance] is to regret your sins
Tawbah isn't just to repent with words, it is to do with the heart.
The regret in the heart sometimes is enough for the sin to be forgiven, but this is very rare and only comes from the grace of Allah.
Death: كُلُّ نَفْسٍ ذَآئِقَةُ الْمَوْتِ وَإِنَّمَا تُوَفَّوْنَ أُجُورَكُمْ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ فَمَن زُحْزِحَ عَنِ النَّارِ وَأُدْخِلَ الْجَنَّةَ فَقَدْ فَازَ وَما الْحَيَاةُ الدُّنْيَا إِلاَّ مَتَاعُ الْغُرُورِ
Every soul will taste death, and you will only be given your [full] compensation on the Day of Resurrection. So he who is drawn away from the Fire and admitted to Paradise has attained [his desire]. And what is the life of this world except the enjoyment of delusion.
Everyone is going to die, no matter how much they are given in this world. Firawn was given so much money, but he died and his body was left as a sign for everyone.
Happiness in this world:
The world is a place which is going to end. You will never see someone happy for his whole life.
Someone will be happy for one in four days. Hadhrat Abdul Qadir Jilani RA says that even if someone who knows that he is going to die, he will be happy even when he is in trouble because he knows these troubles will be a means for forgiveness.
But a worldly person will not be completely happy, even for one day.
كفى بالموت واعظا
If you want someone to give you advice, the best way is to remember death.
Go to the deceased's Janazah, go to their ghusl and understand it will be you one day.
On the day of judgement:
[Allah] will say, "How long did you remain on earth in number of years?
They will say, "We remained a day or part of a day; ask those who keep count."
He will say, "You stayed not but a little - if only you had known [in the world]"
This is the reality of this world
When there is a lion in a cage and it roars or makes a scary sound, even though you know that the cage is stopping it from coming out, you will still jump back. What will happen when we are in front of the Lord of all creation?
The sahaba were so realistic about death. They worked towards it by doing such actions. Hadhrat Umar RA used to say كلّ يوم يقال: مات فلان وفلان، ولا بد من يوم يقال فيه: مات عمر
"Each day it is proclaimed, ‘So and so has died!’ And with no doubt it will be said one day, ‘Umar died."
Don't become hopeless. Have hope and seek forgiveness.
May Allah give us all tawfiq to seek repentance