Be good to your parents
Summary of the majlis
Hadhrat Maulana Adam Sahib Hafizahullah
21 June 2020
عَنْ مُعَاوِيَةَ بْنِ جَاهِمَةَ السَّلَمِيِّ أَنَّ جَاهِمَةَ جَاءَ إِلَى النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَقَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ أَرَدْتُ أَنْ أَغْزُوَوَقَدْ جِئْتُ أَسْتَشِيرُكَ فَقَالَ هَلْ لَكَ مِنْ أُمٍّ قَالَ نَعَمْ قَالَ فَالْزَمْهَا فَإِنَّ الْجَنَّةَ تَحْتَ رِجْلَيْهَا
Mu’awiyah ibn Jahima ؒ reported: Jahima ؒ came to the Prophet, ﷺ, and he said, “O Messenger of Allah, I intend to join the expedition (jihad) and I seek your counsel.” The Prophet ﷺ said, “Do you have a mother?” He said yes. The Prophet ﷺ said, “Stay with her, for Paradise is beneath her feet.”
Source: Sunan al-Nasā’ī 3104
Jannah being under the feet of your mother means that we should serve and help her. This will be a means of us going to Jannah.
In the Quran kareem Allah ﷻ mentions:
وَٱخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ ٱلذُّلِّ مِنَ ٱلرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ٱرْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرًا
And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small."
We should be merciful and humble in front of them.
In ibn Majah sharif there is another similar hadith
وعن أبي أمامة - رضي الله عنه - أن رجلا قال : يا رسول الله ، ما حق الوالدين على ولدهما ؟ قال : " هما جنتكونارك " . رواه ابن ماجه .
Abu Umamah ؒ narrated that a man said that:
"O Allah's Messenger(ﷺ), what are the rights of parents over their child?" He said:"They are your Paradise and your Hell."
Our parents could be a way for us to achieve Jannah.
If we treat them unkindly and present ourselves in front of them in an incorrect way then it could be a means for Jahanam (may Allah ﷻ save us).
We should try to keep our parents in mind always to try to please them.
From this we realise that women have a great status in Islam, especially the mothers. Men could never reach this status!
To serve our fathers is also a great reward but the virtue of Jannah being under her feet was given to a mother.
Remember the hadith when Rasullullah ﷺ was asked who is most deserving of a persons good company. He ﷺ replied your mother thrice and then the fourth time said your father.
Women are also given virtue when it comes to wealth and inheritance.
A small girl’s expenditure is on the parents.
When she gets married she also has a right on her husband’s wealth. If he dies she will also get a part of it.
If she is a sister, she will also get a part of his wealth if her brother dies.
When it says in the Quran that a woman only gets one part, this isn’t one part only in reality. She has a right for wealth from many people. Her parents, her husband, her brother etc.
Allah ﷻ has emphasised on the rights of parents. We are instructed to recite رَّبِّ ٱرْحَمْهُمَا كَمَارَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرًا (My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up) during their life and even after they pass away.
The one who doesn’t make dua for his parents is of low status and will not achieve much. By making dua for our parents we can achieve a lot. We should at least pray this dua after each salah.
Allah ﷻ mentions in the Quran kareem:
إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا
If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour
If they reach old age then we should be patient with them.
Those that shout or be disrespectful to their parents are losing all of their good deeds.
Women are given such a great status in islam.
That family whose first child is a girl, is very fortunate. This is from the sunnah of Rasullullah ﷺ.
In this day and age, people want a boy first. And if they give birth to a girl then they become dejected.
Allah ﷻ mentions these type of people in the Quran kareem:
وَإِذَا بُشِّرَ أَحَدُهُم بِالْأُنثَىٰ ظَلَّ وَجْهُهُ مُسْوَدًّا وَهُوَ كَظِيمٌ
And when one of them is informed of [the birth of] a female, his face becomes dark, and he suppresses grief. [16:58]
May Allah ﷻ save us! Many people are afflicted with this. This is a grave sin.
Some people think that when a girl is born then this is from the mother.
Astagfirullah, Allah ﷻ created the baby however the baby is! So if anyone is upset at having a girl then they are upset at what Allah ﷻ has created.
هُوَ الَّذِي يُصَوِّرُكُمْ فِي الْأَرْحَامِ كَيْفَ يَشَاءُ
It is He who forms you in the wombs however He wills.
May Allah ﷻ make us able to appreciate our parents.
Remember death then you will be successful.
People are dying with coronavirus at the moment and we are worried.
It should not be that we are worried so we pray and worship Allah ﷻ. And then when everything is back to normal and we are at ease, the masajid are open then we are back to sinning again.
چار دن کی چاندنی پھر اندھیری رات
For four days there is light and then its like the dark night
For couple of days we pray, and are mindful of not sinning and then when we are at ease and the virus has passed we are back to sinning how we were before
وَإِذَا مَسَّ الْإِنْسَانَ الضُّرُّ دَعَانَا لِجَنْبِهِ أَوْ قَاعِدًا أَوْ قَائِمًا فَلَمَّا كَشَفْنَا عَنْهُ ضُرَّهُ مَرَّ كَأَنْ لَمْ يَدْعُنَا إِلَى ضُرٍّ مَسَّهُ
And when affliction touches man, he calls upon Us, whether lying on his side or sitting or standing; but when We remove from him his affliction, he continues [in disobedience] as if he had never called upon Us to [remove] an affliction that touched him.
This is stupidity and deceit.
One who takes care to follow Allah ﷻ’s commands during good times, Allah ﷻ is his support in hard times.
Remember in this world the times change so much.
هیچ کنجی بیدد و بیدام نیست
جز به درگاه حق آرام نیست
No corner in this world is without hardship; there is no rest but in the place where you are with Allah ﷻ. I.e remembering Him.
No matter what hardship you are in if you are remembering Allahs ﷻ then you will be content.
Do dhikr with your hands by holding and reciting the Quran kareem, doing tasbeeh
Do dhikr with your eyes, by crying in front of Him
Do dhikr with your tongue by praying
Do dhikr with your feet, by going towards good
Do dhikr of your ears by listening to good
May Allah ﷻ give us tawfiq
Hadhrat says that Molana In'amul Hassan R.A, he is also one of his shaykhs.
Hadhrat was one sitting by him. He said to Hadhrat that if you are praying the Qur'an and you are looking inside, then place your finger and pray.
By doing this, nur will enter through your finger into your heart from every letter. Secondly your hand will also be in the dhikr of Allah ﷻ
May Allah Ta'ala grant us tawfiq.